Independence, Romance, and the Choice To Love.


I have a problem of thinking too much, this may or may not lead to the creation of this blog. One night as I got home from too much coffee, a thought came into my mind; does the raise of female empowerment it leads to the death of romance? 


From a male that’s in a relationship as well as an independent single female, I managed to see it from their perspective before I add in my two cents to this piece.

I think romance is from the heart. I mean if you do it honestly and your intentions are true then anything can be romantic. Just depends on how it’s implied and acted on I guess. Making someone a cup of coffee is romantic. Because romance is the act of giving lovingly isn’t it? I mean self empowerment does have its limits. The root of self empowerment and independence is linked to career, money, politics, social justice and equality; but I don’t think it’s meant to transmit into love. I’ve seen the toughest of women fawn and melt when they’re in love. I mean when you fall in love you fall in loveLove makes you want to be genuine. Love is a safe place where you can just be you. Sometimes you wanna be independent sometimes you wanna be dependent. I mean love is supposed to be a connection that let’s you be. Whatever that mood strikes, it’s a safe place. The connection between the two isn’t there at all. If it is its by choice. Or a person isn’t ready to open up.  To me female empowerment and independence is an ideology, and like all ideologies it shouldn’t blanket your whole life. People aren’t robots; if love can exist in communism it definitely can exist in female empowerment.”

“Personally, I don’t think so at all. In fact if it is the right kind of romance, it shouldn’t be affected at all. Romance isn’t or shouldn’t be about male dominance anyway. Well i guess with that mentality, sure. Women who feel self dependent generally don’t see themselves in relationships. But what about genuine attraction? A romantic relationship between two independent individuals who share affection but lead their own lives; and somehow, even if you’re perfectly capable of supporting and taking care of everything yourself, but sometimes it’s nice to know that you can take the backseat and let someone else drive. Personally, I like having the option. Sometimes you can’t help it if you fall in love….but you still have the power to choose to love.”

I find it relieving that the common pinion is that there shouldn’t be a link between female empowerment to the death of romance. Though the comparison of female empowerment to communism is slightly disturbing, I get the jest of it.

In the many ways I think the two variables should not be connected, there is a connection as well. I, myself am a self-sufficient lady most of the times, however like a friend said earlier on, even the most independent woman can melt – as for me, I chose to melt.

But nobody should be made to choose between being independent and wanting to be in a romantic involvement. If they are, then it’s possible that the other person within the relationship is not ready to commit in a mature romantic involvement.

A good friend pointed this out for me; you’re allowed to be both. Though being independent first will be much more fulfilling once you’ve found your own voice to then share with someone else; and I agree to this statement because how else are you going to be able to share yourself when you don’t know yourself well enough? I think many young ladies including myself, have the fear of missing out on love; pushed by the examples of what the society shows us on how a certain aspect in life should look like in your early to mid twenties. I’ve seen my dear friends put their lives in the hands of their boyfriends or husbands while I plan weekend trips to see Saigon. 5018aae0e5d29c70c83b6cf17c25b426

I guess it’s a matter of the individual, I’m in no position to judge the choices people make in their lives. Me? I choose to be happy.



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