I never expected this. Ever. But here goes…
There was always this curiosity in me, but until last week, I’ve never pursued it. Mostly because I grew up in a society that only accepts heterosexual relationships. Sure, there were moments in college that I kissed girls on dares and a brief holiday where a cute pilot expressed her interest. But that was it for me… until about two months ago.
I saw this girl, my immediate reaction was “oh, she’s cute” and I thought like the other girls I’ve found cute, it would pass. That weekend I was working the same event as her, and I found myself at times just looking at her from where I was stationed, and every time I caught her smiling, my initial thought of her made me blush.
It was weeks after an actual conversation with her that I got myself brave enough to ask her to join me at a club. Surprised and excited that she said yes was where I kinda knew that this was a real attraction. Whether it’s just towards her, or the female gender is yet to be known.
I don’t know where to categorize myself yet, but for the first time ever I am open to the possibility of dating somebody of the same gender.
But this… whatever it is, is new and fresh and exciting and terrifying to me. I opened up to my best friend who’s planning a wedding in the next two years and while she’s supportive about my choices, she also brought up the things I worried about myself. If this isn’t a passing phase, what happens next? How would I break it to the rest of my friends?
At one point I think the hardest thing was saying it out loud to myself;
I like guys, but I like girls, too.
On a different note, I am performing stand up at a rainbow event in June. More details about that will be updated once I can.
Leave in comments what you’d like to read more about.