New Look and Name!

Uncategorized

Hey readers!

I’ve changed the layout and name of my blog into a portfolio of my work so far. I will still be posting my opinions and thoughts (when I can!) as usual. I know it’s been a while, but look out for a post explaining my absence at the end of the month.

In the meanwhile, you can catch some of my articles here and here.

I want to also mention that I’m open to collaborate so don’t shun my contact page just yet.

 

Always with love,

Me

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Why I won’t apologise for being me

personal

It’s been a while since I wrote something that isn’t work related.

But today, since I have a minute to spare I thought I’d write an update.

I’m working now – yes, no more freelancing from my couch. As fun as that was, it was time for progress. I love where I’m at now, every day I learn something new and I think I’m doing alright.

My personal life, it’s been a rollercoaster.

I was seeing this guy and while I was sure that I made myself clear that things had to be light and casual, his selective hearing thought I was playing around with his emotions.

First of all, nothing emotional next to me ranting about my day happened. I didn’t want any involvement because when we were meeting each other, I had just started work and my schedule was erratic. This fella calls in the dead of the night, drunk, while I had only 3 hours left to sleep. Was it wrong that I got upset? I told him off and made clear if he were to call me, there are proper times. The following weekend, I texted him, but he said he’d already been seeing someone else.

Another guy I met for a date over the holidays, we hit it off fine. Or so I thought… this guy worked evenings while I tend to fall asleep around 11pm. So when he wanted to meet up, I made an exception to wait for him, little did I know humans are just as flaky if not more compared to a freshly baked pastry. So I sent him a goodnight text, stating clearly how I was disappointed because I actually liked him enough to want to get to know him.

Now I don’t understand why these two guys, when I say I’m busy, I have work, and I generally just want to rest – would treat it as if I said they needed to work harder for me.

So I want to throw this question out to the internet, WHY DO GUYS HAVE SELECTIVE HEARING?

Additionally, while it is a rhetoric question – why are hardworking girls put down for chasing their career?

I was in a Grab car earlier this week, I merely mentioned that I happened to be working the weekend. The first thing the driver asked was about the status of my relationship, as if it would have made a difference if I had a boyfriend/girlfriend.

It’s mid 2017, why is a girl that would rather work or learn more skills is still being judged if they are single and over 23 years old?

I would just like to put out to the cyberspace, that I choose to work hard – and even if I didn’t have to… I would still be chasing something more than a marriage proposal. It’s as simple as me also not planning to procreate. Why do I have to follow an archaic stigma put upon women that would rather buy a plane ticket to Fiji than a stroller that’s adjustable? Come on, peeps it’s time for progress.

Another thing I would like to touch on this long rant post – I’ve held back a lot – is about my anxiety and how I choose to control the outbursts that it comes with.

I like cleaning my apartment, it is organised in a way that I know where everything is. Little things like my ballerina figurine or my ceramic monkey have meaning to me. So when somebody else whom I knew less than a few hours suggest change or offer to tidy up – I get triggered because I’ve set a system and while tape may not be able to hold the bed slats up, I will eventually find a time to figure out what will.

It’s not an overreaction when I set rules that will allow me not to go full on homicidal – it’s a preventive action from my overreaction if things were done different from how I set my first home to be.

I make my points very straightforward, I’ll bend if I feel like it’s the only way I won’t break. I make known my mental illness only to those who should know – this case being the housemate I live with. I will accept negotiations to a certain point where it does not create a ticking time bomb in my head.

People should be aware that for cases like mine, I control tiny figurines and pink spray bottles filled with cleaning chemicals in replacement of the bigger things in my head that I cannot. Approach carefully and be wary on how my tone changes in a defensive way when the little things are tinkered with.

At the end of the day, I do not want to snap because of movements of objects that I had set for a specific reason, and saying “Oh it’s just in your head” will never help me from not curling in the corner of my queen size bed validating your dismissal of my issues.

I’m done apologising for being true to myself, I’m over making adjustments to my boundaries because others ridicule the system that keeps me at bay, I will not tolerate or be pushed over to apologise about my mental state or choices. I’ve worked on myself too hard for anyone to dismiss my best efforts to be a better person.

Anyway, that’s all for tonight.

For those feeling the same way or are in similar situations, leave a comment or tweet me on my twitter @shenntyara 🙂 I update (almost) daily.

For others, please take account on your actions and words because to those “overreacting”, it matters more than you think.

X.

 

REVIEW: THE RETREAT (Theatre)

performing arts, Reviews

I managed to catch the last showing of this dark twisted and brilliant play on Sunday night. Now even with a familiar face in the cast, I promise to be completely honest in my review of this whodunit play.

I was unprepared to be mentally affected by the lights and sounds of this production. Kudos to the sound manager for the realistic storm that haunted the space, not to mention the use of the 360-ish stage and the film noir feel the production delivered almost too perfectly.

The setting of the stage itself was very simple yet it felt complex with the movement of the storyline.

As for the story, I loved that there was a clear difference in the mood setting between the acts itself to the thoughts being spoken by the main character, Gina.

This play was casted with 6 main characters, but the additional sound effects from a seated character made the anxiety within me jump and half await for the next screech she’d yell out in between the dialogs on stage – that being said, I noticed a pattern in the yelling that got old by the middle of the second act.

One thing was for sure, this play was not a family show. Profanities were a big part of the script. Frankly, it was refreshing… too many shows lately are censored or restricted to a point where the characters lose their spark. It was an interesting interpretation of PTSD and representation of mental illness patients, however the doctor’s character could have less of a biased personality when he appeared in flashback scenes. I felt that he was sneaky and sly in the way he talked to the other characters, almost as if he was judgmental towards them.

My favorite characters were the nervous patient named Grace, her outbursts and jittery personality somehow resonated at a personal level; and Charlie, the promiscuous companion woman in her lace corset and no filter one liners. As for Charlie’s love interest, Josh was a character I loved to hate – this sentiment was echoed by other members of the audience when I chatted with them during intermission.

I loved the diversity and the idea behind the storylines itself, but like a lot of my reviews, there are cons to this production.

I don’t know exactly whether it was intentional to have the time and place to be set so ambiguously – having the character’s being Asian with western-ish names was unsettling but this may just be my opinion.

Other than that I think the location itself at Twenty2two was a miss – even with the map out it was complicated to exit the housing area the show was surrounded by.

I think it’s safe to say that this was definitely a great show, unfortunately it only ran until last week – even though I would not watch it twice for my own personal mental health. Would I recommend others to watch it if it ran again? Yes, definitely.

I look forward to catch more works from the creators and cast!

REVIEW: American Gods

Reviews

DISCLAIMER: There are potential spoilers in this piece – also this is purely my opinion so take it with a grain of salt if you do not feel the same way. 

A few weeks late into the finale, I was awed by how relevant this show is to today’s world. Being online 80% of my life awake, I have to admit that I succumbed to the gods of technology that occasionally enslaves us through media – which just happens to be portrayed as a newer Goddess in the show.

I jumped into the series without prior reading on the plot, based on the suggestion of my friends I was intrigued on the delivery of characters and their progression through the first season (Yes, I finished the season on one sitting! my dedication to this review is ridiculous!).

Okay where do I start? Let’s break down the characters and relationships within the show…

  1. Shadow & Wednesday: This bromance bothers me… mostly because Mr. Wednesday is a twisted character that uses Shadow’s grief and confusion of his new freedom for his gain… why Shadow is such an important character is yet to be known even through the finale. But one thing is clear, something is up with the existence of Mr. Moon. Even with his criminal history, he plays the part of an anti protagonist that somehow floats around the plot. While his story is significant to his character, I found Shadow close to irrelevant. However, kudos to Starz for making the lead character one of color.
  2. Shadow & Dead Wife: Again, here Shadow seems to me like a lost puppy being so gullible that he doesn’t recognize danger when she’s between his legs. I get that love is blind, but when you’re basically in a relationship with sociopath that calls you her pet… something should have rang the alarm in your head to get out.
  3. Dead Wife & Mad Sweeney: Now I’ve loved Sweeney since his first appearance, to be a tall mad leprechaun is going against the initial information we’re given about these fairy folk creatures, in the episode that shows his somewhat back story, it focused on his relationship with an Irish girl name Essie. Maid turned thief turned rape victim turned honest wife… the turn of events lead by this Essie character which is portrayed by the same actress as the Dead Wife. It’s one of the sweeter stories delivered in the season and it gave me a shooting chance at forgiving the Dead Wife. We’ll just have to see what happens in season 2
  4. Salim & The Jinn: This couple at the beginning of the show was a delightful representation of the LGBT community as well as Muslim, I understand that there was a lot of controversy when first shown, but the storyline behind them is – in my eyes – a sweet yet toxic arrangement. Does it end well? We still don’t know! The season ended with Salim seeking to find The Jinn again.

Now here’s a list of my favorite characters through season 1:

  1. Bilquis: this lady has it going on hard and freaky! I was told before her episode explaining the life she went through with the change of times, that her story is a sad one… the forgotten queen until social media and the rise of technology made it easier to gain followers again. I love how crazy scary she is and how dominating her personality is – even with her flaws (specifically her bedside manners!).
  2. Mad Sweeney: See above for details or better yet watch his episode! Yes, his rough exterior and rugged personality starts off as annoying but he’ll grow on you.
  3. Mr. Nancy: he’ll be narrating a few of the stories, but also his debut in the series was when he casually tricked a group of slaves to kill themselves along with their masters – you’ll never bore of this trickster. Side note: I notice what you did with his name, Starz… from the origins of Anansi to Mr. Nancy.

I can go into details on other characters but I really don’t want to be the one that spoils this show for you. When you have the time, go watch it! I was inspired to go further into the backstories and origins of the lore that was represented in the series.

If there’s anything this show deserves an A+ for, it’s the diversity of it’s characters and the initial research put into them. I mean, gods and goddesses becoming immigrants in America? Brilliant!

Comment your thoughts and favorite characters or suggest something for me to review next!

X

Tablao Flamenco: The Art of Gypsies

performing arts, Reviews

Enjoy a full bodied glass of wine, share small plates of olives and cheese with your lover, and feel the music run through your person as you hear the beat of the percussion complimenting the tapping sounds of the dancer’s feet on the floor board cause in that moment you’re living the gypsy life as you witness the passion and fury of the flamenco.

IMG_5127.JPG

Replacing the cabarets in cafes around Spain, the 1960s was the turning point to when the flamenco soared beyond it’s origin of Andalusia. To enjoy it is an activity that has been modernized even in it’s mainland of Spaniards; but to live it as an audience is an honor – an opportunity you can experience this week in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia!

I was beyond excited to be given the chance to be seated front where my heart beat with every clap and string of the guitars played in the 8 artists ensemble. Seeing it for the first time live in front of me felt like falling in love with a dangerous lover.

Origen Flamenco was brought into town after a night of music among friends and was greeted warmly as Spain and Malaysia celebrate their 50th year of diplomatic ties. While I did not have the privilege to speak to the ambassador as he sat 5 feet away from my stool, it showed on his face that he felt at home while being thousands of miles away from his home country. I did however get a picture with him and the (very good looking) cast!

IMG_5138

I urge those who are art enthusiasts to go see them at KLPAC this Wednesday the 12th and Thursday the 13th of July 2017. Tickets are available http://www.ticketpro.com.my so hurry and order them online because the crew did let me know that it is an intimate setting as the art should be.

Join the gypsies in conversation while you witness the embodiment of passion! If you miss them in KL don’t fret they’ll be back in Malaysia at the Kota Kinabalu Jazz Festival!

 

A History Lesson in Pancasila

LGBT, opinions, Things That Bug Me

DISCLAIMER: This article is purely the opinion of the writer, it is not written to be bias or leaning to any political party nor it’s opposition. 

I grew up in the bustling city roads of Jakarta, to be a half breed of Indonesia and a western country, I was nicknamed bule that directly means caucasian. It was always my pet peeve that even during my stay in Malaysia, I was addressed more towards my western side because of how I looked. I was born in a midwife’s clinic in the center of Menteng, I went to preschool in the national plus institution behind a church and mosque, I wore proudly my red and white uniform during the weekly flag ceremony as the entire faculty and students recited our nation’s five pillars. My passport is as green as my blood runs red. 

Ask any of my foreign friends, and they can tell you how proud I am to be Indonesian, however with the rise of extremists and radicals in the streets of my beloved nation, that pride I have has definitely been shaken.

Close to 62 years ago in August 1945, a group of young activists kidnapped our leader to force our country out of the occupation of the Japanese and into independence. However it was on June 1st 1945, when Pancasila was erected as the base of our nation’s views due to the diversity across the archipelago of Indonesia. With over 300 languages spoken, over 400 cultures, and 1000+ islands; Indonesia was one united by these five points.

  1. A divinity that is an ultimate unity (in Indonesian “Ketuhanan Yang Maha Esa“),
  2. A just and civilized humanity (in Indonesian “Kemanusiaan Yang Adil dan Beradab“),
  3. The national unity of Indonesia (in Indonesian “Persatuan Indonesia“),
  4. Democracy predicated on the inherent wisdom of unanimity arising from deliberation among popular representatives (in Indonesian “Kerakyatan Yang Dipimpin oleh Hikmat Kebijaksanaan, Dalam Permusyawaratan Perwakilan“), and
  5. Social justice for all Indonesian people (in Indonesian “Keadilan Sosial bagi seluruh Rakyat Indonesia“).

It was assured to the nation that we are not able to have one without the others.

Fast forward six decades later, the country has shifted and in my eyes forgotten the true meaning of being Indonesian. I won’t say I have been the best citizen, but – as idealistic as it may sound – I try my best in every way that I can to better myself not just for my personal gain but also for my country’s future.

With seeing how radicals use this ideology in the opposite way it was made for makes me furious. Seeing what has been happening in the political scene and the reasons leaders use to “defend” Indonesia has me itching to demand a history lesson to be re-taught to these influential people that seem to forget our second and fourth pillar.

It teared me up in pride knowing that Timor Leste, a former province of Indonesia held a Pride march in solidarity to their LGBT community. It was a rush of envy that I felt reading about Singapore’s Pink Dot event. Yet, the LGBT related news that I read connected to Indonesia was regarding the demand by extremists to boycott Starbucks because they are a known supporter of the community and how this propaganda was being pushed and accepted by a significant amount of the nation’s citizens to be against the first pillar.

Nowhere in our five pillars was it written to discriminate and push hate towards anyone whether it be their system of belief, appearance, culture, or sexuality. Closing the Pancasila is the pillar I wholeheartedly believe in; Social justice for all.

I believe in signs, and while it might be far fetched, could we just appreciate that Pancasila is celebrated within the same month of Pride? I had only realize this tiny bit of information a few weeks into June 2017 where I celebrated Pride for the first time as a bisexual.

While my pride of being Indonesian was shook, my hopes of a better Indonesia remains strong. It’s my hope that with the change of time and the growth of modern thinking, Indonesia will be what it was planned for. Bhinneka Tunggal Ika is what’s written in the sash that the Garuda holds in his claws; united in diversity. 

I hope that in the near future, that diversity includes the LGBT community.

 

REVIEW: OKJA, a nightmare in motion.

opinions, Reviews, Uncategorized

It’s been a minute since I watched something that moved me in the way that Netflix’s original movie OKJA did. Before even going in depth why you should watch this movie, I would like to hand over all the awards including most horrific triggering movie of the year.

Disclaimer: there are potential spoilers in this piece – also this is purely my opinion so take it with a grain of salt if you do not feel the same way. 

I watched OKJA over the weekend with my friend, and thankfully someone was there because this movie is not something you’d want to watch alone (I made that mistake with Get Out). Personally, I try my best to leave as little carbon footprint unless it’s for a better; as a person in the creative industry I hold a belief that whatever you do should answer the question of WHY you’re doing what you do. Many people forget that there’s more to life than just creating content for monetary purposes.

The team and director behind this movie definitely had their purpose of letting the nightmare of animal abuse known to the public delivered with flying colors. It was both exhilarating to watch as it was horrifying. In one particular scene (and you’d know which scene I’m talking about) had me shaken until even now, the portrayal of innocence in Okja and Mija’s relationship was complete obliterated by this scene.

I can’t imagine how the people behind this must’ve felt within the research and execution of the movie because as it’s audience it triggered an ongoing nightmare of the reality that the science behind the story was based on real life actions by corporate animal farms.

As for the characters in the movie, I can’t find the words to describe the diversity. I love that this was not in English nor was it led by a caucasian award winner. Yes, Tilda Swinton, Jake Gyllenhaal, and a few other known actors and actresses were a part of the cast, but how they adapted to the characters they held was more than an award winning act. Swinton’s character completely erased her real life personality – same goes with former heartthrob Gyllenhaal who’s character is a washed up media personality that seems to be going in an existential psychotic crisis.

Paul Dano and Lily Collins were additional protagonist characters that played hero to animals in the movie. I absolutely loved the choreographed anti-fight scenes.

The storyline itself is simple – then again most of the best movies are. It’s a love story of a girl and her pet super pig; however this is not a family movie.

What made this movie so impactful to me is the delivery of this story not being in a post apocalypse time but in today’s world. The fictional animal made it easier to make an emotional connection compared to the regular pig or cow; however the true point being delivered is that you can replace Okja to your common cow, pig, buffalo, etc. and you’re watching a documentary that just happened to end well for the characters leading the movie.

Was I satisfied by the ending? Yes and no. I realize it’s improper to end a meaningful movie with a sugarcoated happy ending – but to see in the prolog that Okja is merely one of thousands that was saved… it was still heartbreaking.

Should you watch this movie? 100% YESS.