Helen of Twitterverse

FULL DISCLAIMER – This article is solely the opinion of the writer.

As a follow up to my post yesterday, I would like to touch on a few things.

The official statement from the involved institution has been released. Was this necessary? Of course, it’s a standard procedure.  But was it necessary for the girl to share it with the world? Not really.

As stated, the boys and girl involved had only been in the college environment for a month or so – their journey has just begun. The girl/victim had recently been acknowledged by Elle Malaysia as a badass in their article for speaking out about her incident. This was a fashion magazine and there is this freshie on campus, and there is this cry of a rape threat. For some reason, that’s a bit of an odd mix…. or is it just me thinking this? She was badass for launching a thousand ships of altercation between people and causing a commotion that has impacted institutions and such. Helen of Twitterverse indeed.

Now to my take on this case, as a former media student, I feel that the story has been misappropriated to a point where it’s no longer a fight for women’s justice but one that goes against it. Considering how fast words can travel online, I think it’s time now more than ever that we need smart women to stop debasing their intelligence and directly shoot out a flare gun on to the twitterverse.

Kellie Low, 24, Malaysian PR graduate had a similar stance on how this case could have been handled, especially the girl involved. “I find the guy’s more at fault for joking so nonchalantly about something apparently beyond his comprehension, but the girl should not have blown up the issue, regardless of how upset she was. Screenshot, confront the person who made the rape statement, but why play victim-and-villian by posting and making it viral?”

From where I stand, female empowerment does not mean we have to degrade our opposite gender, but instead we should educate them. Blasting retweets and sharing posts on our newsfeed is not necessarily the only strategy to go about this.

The darker side of social media should be brought out of the light on how “tweetivists” take justice into their own hands without thinking of the repercussions they activate with 140 characters or less. Last year this article by the Observer relates the social justice warriors that take to social media to the Totalitarian doctrines and Marxism theory. Creator of Scandal, Shonda Rhimes has also pointed this out in her speech at Dartmouth that instead of merely tweeting #justice, they should act positively in the causes that they believe in. So why not instead of tweeting how the institution or boys involved should act upon this case, they go ahead and volunteer hours at a local shelter.

When I asked Tanya Nazeer, 24, who’s a fellow media student from Tanzania, she delivers a valid point; “There’s plenty of ways this could have been handled. I get it that the girl was just speaking out about the incident. But the keyboard warriors are the one who add fuel to the fire. They are the ones causing the PR mishap. The university shouldn’t take this as a scandal – yes they are your students. But take the opportunity to show how you care for the students and how you actually intend to change their mindsets for the better.”

Let’s step back to the starting point of this particular case. It is not about glorifying rape culture, but the public statement that a person of a political leader. How can we expect the socio culture in Malaysia to be more than a developing country when the leaders are still acting this way? I don’t see how it is justice when the institution drowns in the melting pot of opinions, while the man who started the joke goes off scot-free. 

Now that the student involved has been given a punishment of 100 hours of community service; can we also hand over the learning opportunity to not only the warriors retweeting but also Mr. Parliament? I think that should be fair, don’t you?

As for the girl in question, a badass? Yes but not in the fashionable sort.

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The Generation of Going Viral

Which is a bigger crime, a group of boys talking nonsense or the girl who took the joke too far? In my personal opinion, both are at the same level or idiocy. 

Now I get that getting many followers can mean you get the chance of monetizing your social media account. But at what cost?

In a recent incident, screenshots of a private group chat went viral. As any group chat involving boys with raging hormones and no other output, there are lewd commentary about the “fresh meat” on campus. Do I condone the locker room talk? Of course not. But when the individual comes out and rants on her public twitter account instead of waiting for the institution they are all studying at to respond, it creates a PR mess.

I am in not directly involved, however as a graduate of the media industry, I would like to put my two cents in – not like anyone has yet to do so. 

Shall we first get to the background of this said joke, in which one of the group chat participants wrote “She’s gonna kena raped by me, then the must marry me” – this running joke started with this statement earlier this year from the parliament regarding rape victims.

Now, whether it be the soccer team in Harvard, or a female rating group chat in Malaysia, I hold my opinion on how college boys are not the brightest stars in the galaxy. I’m not saying #NotAllMen or the overused quote “boys will be boys”.

Rape, in any sense of the word is not a laughing matter.

But to the girl involved, was it worth the example you posted? This is one in millions group chats that talk nonsense. If every group chat was exposed this way, almost everyone in the world would be convicted for soliciting lewd commentary. Not to mention the lack of eye candy articles that sell magazines and get traffic to online magazines shared on Facebook. 

It astonishes me how your tone changed after your tweets went viral to the point of being interviewed by Elle Malaysia where there was a comparison to Serena Williams.

From what I have gathered, the boys involved have been given their punishment. But the backlash of this incident will constantly follow them and in many cases these life events will create a mental instability (hello, there’s this new series showing exactly how things can go). The threats on their existence has already started to a point of the “perpetrator” making the “joke” is terrified to go back to his studies this coming Tuesday after the public holiday.

Now I have to ask this to the general public, how is it that glorifying and sexualizing attractive vets or nurses or even math teachers okay, while a private group chat is blown up out of proportion?

This group chat was one out of a billion that just happened to get caught. Don’t you think if all private chats were leaked everyone would be in jail or something? Yes, it was wrong. I do not defend the boys involved, but what people say as opposed to what people think and do are all different; and there will always be an abundance of online trolls and keyboard warriors.

It is ironic to me how as viral as juicy this fiasco has become, all articles written on it deviate far from the actually truth with conflicting and inaccurate information. For all we know, each individual involved are at fault at one point or another. 

This proves how what we are involved in is no longer the issue at hand or in the victims best interest. Instead, by making this more viral, we are actually amusing ourselves at the expense of all participants including the girl. 

A simple retweet of the original posts can be compared to going for surgery when all you needed was a good nights sleep. Is it truly impossible for this generation to mind their own business? Did we really have to dive into the comment section and dissect? 

In other words the villain here is now us. 

The best PR exercise to diffuse is through silence. By muting the argument until proper statement has been released. Until then, what we have is a crockpot filled of opinions. As my grandmother in the kitchen would say, too many hands makes the broth bitter. 

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Independence, Romance, and the Choice To Love.

I have a problem of thinking too much, this may or may not lead to the creation of this blog. One night as I got home from too much coffee, a thought came into my mind; does the raise of female empowerment it leads to the death of romance? 

From a male that’s in a relationship as well as an independent single female, I managed to see it from their perspective before I add in my two cents to this piece.

“I think romance is from the heart. I mean if you do it honestly and your intentions are true then anything can be romantic. Just depends on how it’s implied and acted on I guess. Making someone a cup of coffee is romantic. Because romance is the act of giving lovingly isn’t it? I mean self empowerment does have its limits. The root of self empowerment and independence is linked to career, money, politics, social justice and equality; but I don’t think it’s meant to transmit into love. I’ve seen the toughest of women fawn and melt when they’re in love. I mean when you fall in love you fall in love. Love makes you want to be genuine. Love is a safe place where you can just be you. Sometimes you wanna be independent sometimes you wanna be dependent. I mean love is supposed to be a connection that let’s you be. Whatever that mood strikes, it’s a safe place. The connection between the two isn’t there at all. If it is its by choice. Or a person isn’t ready to open up.  To me female empowerment and independence is an ideology, and like all ideologies it shouldn’t blanket your whole life. People aren’t robots; if love can exist in communism it definitely can exist in female empowerment.”

“Personally, I don’t think so at all. In fact if it is the right kind of romance, it shouldn’t be affected at all. Romance isn’t or shouldn’t be about male dominance anyway. Well i guess with that mentality, sure. Women who feel self dependent generally don’t see themselves in relationships. But what about genuine attraction? A romantic relationship between two independent individuals who share affection but lead their own lives; and somehow, even if you’re perfectly capable of supporting and taking care of everything yourself, but sometimes it’s nice to know that you can take the backseat and let someone else drive. Personally, I like having the option. Sometimes you can’t help it if you fall in love….but you still have the power to choose to love.”

I find it relieving that the common pinion is that there shouldn’t be a link between female empowerment to the death of romance. Though the comparison of female empowerment to communism is slightly disturbing, I get the jest of it.

In the many ways I think the two variables should not be connected, there is a connection as well. I, myself am a self-sufficient lady most of the times, however like a friend said earlier on, even the most independent woman can melt – as for me, I chose to melt.

But nobody should be made to choose between being independent and wanting to be in a romantic involvement. If they are, then it’s possible that the other person within the relationship is not ready to commit in a mature romantic involvement.

A good friend pointed this out for me; you’re allowed to be both. Though being independent first will be much more fulfilling once you’ve found your own voice to then share with someone else; and I agree to this statement because how else are you going to be able to share yourself when you don’t know yourself well enough? I think many young ladies including myself, have the fear of missing out on love; pushed by the examples of what the society shows us on how a certain aspect in life should look like in your early to mid twenties. I’ve seen my dear friends put their lives in the hands of their boyfriends or husbands while I plan weekend trips to see Saigon. 

I guess it’s a matter of the individual, I’m in no position to judge the choices people make in their lives. Me? I choose to be happy.

X.